Who knew?

Well, it's here.

More precisely, he's here. Steve and Liam returned late Friday night and my tenure as stepmother has begun. And you know what? It hasn't been as nightmarish as I anticipated. It feels ... normal. I guess that after two summers and one holiday spent with the kids, I'm finally at peace with this strange family situation we have.

And honestly? Hallelujah! It's about damn time.

There are several factors that I believe have made this summer a lot easier. First and foremost, I've done a lot of growing up this past year. I've spent a lot of time thinking about my relationship with Steve, my personal boundaries, and my limitations. I've learned how to stand up for myself, and I've learned to give in and compromise when necessary. It has certainly made life run more smoothly.

Secondly, I didn't go with Steve to pick Liam up, as I have the past two summers. Steve really wanted -- and needed -- to spend a few days with Aiden. I couldn't take an entire week off of work to accompany him, and I also felt that they needed one-on-one time. Aiden doesn't know me yet, and he really just needed some Daddy time. Staying home eliminated the anxiety and stress I've always felt when having to see Monica, and I don't feel defensive about myself or my relationship with Steve and the boys.

Thus, I'm not as resistant or hostile toward Liam when he does things that make me crazy. He can be a bit of a know-it-all, is outrageously competitive, and sometimes mistakenly believes he should participate in adult conversations on topics that are none of his business. He's still a kid, so I can't be too hard on him. And he does have quite a few good qualities as well. But for the first time, Steve has recognized his less-than-stellar attributes. Even better? Monica has realized this, too. I'm not pleased that she's had trouble with his behavior toward her, but I'm secretly relieved that I'm finally not the only one who sees that Liam is, in fact, a normal pre-teen whose behavior is sometimes sub-par.

It's so strange to not constantly feel irritated. Liam's room is a disaster -- and I don't care. WTF? Last summer I went nuts about them keeping their room clean. And instead of enjoying a quiet house when I got up for work this morning, I instead heard giggles and the muffled sounds of "Robot Chicken" coming through my bedroom wall. And it was fine. There are soda cans on the living room endtables -- and it's not a big deal. For the first time in three years, having the kids around is normal -- and even fun.

I'm sure there will be issues -- nothing is ever ALWAYS easy. But for right now, I'm enjoying this new level of calm and acceptance in my life and focusing on building good relationships with the boys. They're not going away -- might as well love them!